The Non-Experts Guide to Prayer

Doom has many sounds, and this time it was the disappointed voice of my dentist. “It looks like we might have to do a root-canal.” Fortunately for me, my prayer levels and faith that day were both at record highs. Less than a year before I had taken a trip to the remote mountains of Mexico where I met a group of men who told me story after story of their personal experiences raising the dead through prayer. In my mind, if God could raise the dead in the heart of Mexico, why couldn’t He fix a little decay on one tooth in the back of my mouth? My appointment was set for a week from that day, so with faith surging through my veins, I launched a full-scale prayer-assault on my dental demons.

Prayer pic The word ‘prayer’ takes on a lot of different meanings depending on whose mouth it’s coming from. There’s everything from intense 24-hour prayer sessions to flippant prayers for botched exams, or even the cliché nearly anyone will resort to in light of a death or other misfortune, “We’ll be praying for you.”

Where I grew up, the ‘experts’ frequently referred to prayer as a curious combination of a weapon used to vanquish spiritual foes, a means by which to change God’s or other people’s minds, a ticket to ask for the things we need and to beg for forgiveness, or – on the rare occasion you remember Him – a chance to give God a shout-out. I have to confess that I was rather confused, but what better way to figure out prayer than to apply it to something as real and painful as my looming molar melt-down.

The day of the appointment swiftly arrived and I confidently sat myself down in the reclining chair and waited for the good news. Before the dentist began I requested a new set of x-rays so we could both witness the mysterious power of prayer. He complied and within minutes we were looking at black and white proof that, well, I didn’t have a clue what prayer was. An hour later I trudged out of the dental office, my jaw throbbing, my faith deflated and my head spinning with questions.

True Prayer

However rash it may seem, in the aftermath of this letdown, the only conclusion I could muster was that if prayer wasn’t for fixing cavities, then maybe it wasn’t for fighting spiritual wars or asking favors either. Maybe the ‘prayer experts’, if there really is such a thing, didn’t know what they were talking about. In fact, I began to doubt the necessity of prayer at all. But eventually I decided that if Jesus taught us how to do it, it must be important and I must find out why. So began my personal search for ‘true prayer’.

Throughout the following years, despite all my disillusionment, I began to redefine my view on prayer. To be honest, it’s much simpler than I had ever been told, and a thousand times more profound. Prayer, I discovered, is simply “Talking with God”. So to know real prayer, the issue isn’t learning about prayer at all, but rather learning about God – the One we’re talking with. So my journey of prayer began with understanding who God is, who I am in His mind and what plan He has for my life.

For many of us God is too big to imagine or too distant for us to believe there’s any need for a personal connection with Him. This was the case for me, so I found it helpful to think of Him in a different way.

The Flawless Father

For the sake of what I’m about to describe, let’s picture an ideal flesh-and-blood father. You know, like your good ol’ dad, but without the short fuse and the endless barrage of cheesy puns. He’d be a strong-hearted man, kind, and loving. He’d be patient, but he wouldn’t let you get away with just anything because he’d want to keep you safe and teach you self-control. From birth, he would raise you faithfully and teach you right from wrong in the hope that one day you’d be able to decipher between the two for yourself. When you would ask him for money, he’d show you how to get a job, work well and earn a living. If you made a bad decision, he would allow you to experience the real (and sometimes harsh) consequences of that choice, but he would then lovingly restore you and help you to avoid making the same mistake again. When you’d ask your ideal dad about a relationship, he wouldn’t choose for you, but rather teach you what to look for in a good companion. And when you get a cavity, he’d recommend brushing your teeth more, using mouth wash and maybe flossing too.

…prayer by itself does not change anything – it’s God that does the changing.

Throughout the Bible, God is also described in this way – as a loving Father who calls us His children and encourages us toward well-rounded maturity. This view of God should totally change the way we approach prayer. Instead of always looking to get something, we ought to come to our Heavenly Dad expecting to learn something new, ready to grow, and eager to please. Instead of looking for blessings from His hand, we should desire to know Him as a person and strive to bless His heart by becoming everything He’d ever hoped we’d become. If we know God like a Father, then we also know that it’s His greatest pleasure and desire to inundate us with good things (see James 1:17 & Matthew 7:11) and that it’s up to us to listen to Him so we know where to find them.

The Great Example

Jesus Himself reinforced this idea of talking with your Heavenly Father by kicking off His famous “Lord’s Prayer” with, “Our Father who is in heaven….” With this foundation, of seeing God as an attentive Father, we can follow Jesus’ basic ‘prayer skeleton’ to develop a mature, holistic and ongoing conversation with none-other than the ultimate God of the universe (check-out The Lord’s Prayer Guide).

Not Mine, But Yours

If there’s one thing I’ve learnt in this journey it’s that prayer by itself does not change anything – it’s God that does the changing. Prayer is just how we unite with God (the One with all the power in the world and, thankfully, the wisdom to use it correctly) to participate in this change. Though we may not always recognise it, God answers every prayer we pray; it’s just that often those answers don’t look the way we expect. By understanding God as a father, we can learn to pick out the subtle sound of His voice and see His hand in our lives. I don’t doubt those men in Mexico saw people rise from the dead; that’s how God chose to use their prayers. For me and my dental issue, God responded in a very different way. He showed me that prayer is not about my will, but about His. He led me on a journey that reinvented my view on prayer.

Sometimes the world doesn’t change when we pray, and maybe that’s because we are the one’s being changed – that God is using us to change the world. And maybe the spiritual battles in our lives aren’t always fought on our knees, but rather that is the place where we receive the guidance to live legendary lives on our feet. So, I encourage you; speak to God with the voice of a child, come to Him expecting the priceless answers of a loving Father, and most of all prepare to be changed by His often unconventional, yet always flawless, wisdom.

The Lord’s Prayer Guide

Find it in Matthew 6:9-13

“Our Father Who is in heaven…”
Talk as God’s child – confidently knowing that, like a good father, He loves to speak with you (no matter what). Galatians 4:3-7.

“…hallowed (holy) be Your name.”
Give shout-outs to God – respectfully acknowledge His faithfulness and power. Deuteronomy 32:3-4

“Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”
Ask God to have His way in your life and in the world around you – offer yourself to Him as a distributor of His heavenly will on Earth. Matthew 7:21.

“Give us this day our daily bread.”
Acknowledge that God knows what you need and like a good dad will supply it. Listen for Him to speak. Matthew 7:8-11.

“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
Let go of your hurt and bitterness toward those who have hurt you and ask God to similarly forget your own offenses. Psalm 103:8-14, Matthew 18:21-22

“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.”
Ask God to help you live in victory, not being pulled around by self-absorbed desires. 1 Corinthians 10:12-13.

“For Yours is the kingdom, the power and the glory forever. Amen.”
Give more props to God, also reminding yourself of His position as King and His ability to guide you in your situation. Jude 1:24-25.

Prayer is when you are speaking to God…Meditation is when you are listening to God. Learn the art of Ultimate Meditation and begin listening to God today.

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